E.P.D.

Oh, What a harrowing week I've had. So, you know about my Monday and Tuesday; but it just never ended. Tuesday night, or possibly Wednesday morning, I woke up. My house flipped on its side and an elephant was dancing on my door. Bam! Bam! Bam! "Brian!" "You there?" "Brian, please man, are you ok?" "Enumclaw Police! Open the door!"

My eyes popped open and I sat up and my house righted itself. Shaking my wits back into my head, I stood up and went to the door. "Hold on a sec. Let me get dressed," I called through the 2 inch wood. I ran into my bedroom, threw on a shirt and sweats and was halfway back to the door when it struck me. I didn't hurt. Wasn't it just a few hours ago that I burned alive, died, had electricity surge through me, inexplicably burned THROUGH an ambulance and skipped along the road like an old cigarette butt casually tossed out a window? My arms were a bit bruised as I pushed up my sleeves but the skin was all there. no scabs, no scars, no blood. I was hale and whole. It wasn't all a dream, was it? If so, why are the police here? "Oh!" I peeped as I remembered the reason for my waking. I grabbed hold of the door knob, twisted it and opened the door. On the front porch were two of Enumclaw's finest on either side of Jake B.

"You alright, man?" Jake B. blurted out while relief eased his features as soon as he saw I was alive.
"May we come in?" asked Officer 1.

Looking them over, they didn't really seem aggressive, their guns were holstered and they seemed more concerned than anything. I stepped back and let them in. Apparently I wasn't dreaming about any of it. Between Jake B., the police, and me, we were able to come up witha pretty solid account of what happened. They have been trying to find me for over 56 hours, it was now Thursday morning. They knew I was home because I used my home phone to call work. They had a car parked outside my house since Tuesday morning. Jake G, Bria, Mom, my boss. . .everybody came by my house, everytime with the police. They were about to break down my door to recover my body.

The police asked so many questions but I never had an answer for them. They asked the same questions multiple different ways. I tried to stay calm and answer them but it was getting quite annoying. I think they may have been trying to hide something from me because the longer they were at my house and the more unanswered questions they had, the more they sweated. I was the only one there who seemed fine.

So, anyway, that was Thursday morning. I called work and asked told them I was feeling much better and that I'd be in to work on Friday. I had to go to the store because all of my food had gone bad over the past week. I think my fridge is on the fritz too. I grabbed the milk I had bought over the weekend but it was warm and sour. I just went to the quickshop down the street grabbed some bread and peanut butter. It was going to be simple food for awhile. Then I headed home.

The rest of that day I spent calling my mom and friends letting them know that I was ok. Then I sat down and tried to figure out what happened to me.

My brain was a well-toned AK47 with a full clip of blanks. I had idea after idea after idea but they were completely empty ideas. as soon as I thought of something, it was gone. over and over again. Thursday night I went to bed just as confused as before.

Friday morning, 7am came and I was roasting in my bed. I got up, took a steaming hot shower ate my peanut butter sandwich and walked to work. Have you ever taken a vacation at a crucial time? The back storage area looked like a daycare had come to visit for a week, there were Halloween decorations mixed with Santa and Frosty's flakes. Coffee in hand, I called over some of the stockboys and got to sorting. It was around 10:30 that I started feeling sick. By lunch I was coughing and hacking. I was so worried that I was going to get another fever that I went and grabbed an orange juice and a bottle of vitamin C and started overdosing. The store manager was probably worried too, that would explain the insane micro-management that day. By 2, I clocked out and went home.

Sorry that I just keep going on and on about how difficult this week was but I hope you understand. I'll try to liven things up as the week progresses.